I just came back from seeing Indy 4, and holy shit that movie made no sense at all. It’s basically a long chain of chase scenes, which is good fun until you reach that typically “wuh?” Spielberg-ending. One of the strange things about Indiana Jones is that he personally witnesses astounding things that should force him to question the nature of religion, the fabric of reality, the very origin of human civilization itself—I mean, he’s a freakin’ professor—and yet at the end of the day he just sort of shrugs and goes back to teaching Anthro 101.
Anyway, now I’m going to brag about how the chase scene through Indy’s university was filmed at Yale. That’s right, Indiana Jones is Professor Henry Jones, Jr. of Yale Effin’ University. The chase scene’s hilarious because it’s completely out of sequence—they’re warping all over campus. They start at a nonexistent corner burger joint, go down Chapel Street, flip over to on Elm, cut through old campus, go up the steps of Sterling Library, and end up in Commons (a dining hall masquerading as the library’s reading room).
I just watched Knocked Up and holy shit that scared the shit out of me. All the relationship stuff, people getting offended and spinning little things into huge problems, jesusfuck. Look, just say you’re sorry. Fuck. That’s just terrifying, how about we all love each other okay?
Also, Judd Apatow’s the man. All his characters basically speak the same way but that’s fine because they’re using the English language the best way it can be used.
There’s a J.J. Abrams (King of Lost) movie coming up. The trailer played in front of Transformers, featuring a shaky-cam hipster party crashed by the Statue of Liberty’s head. We also get a hearty Pilot Episode of Lost-style offscreen roar. Mysterious!
Alright, before I bring the snark, for the record I’m pumped and fired up and roused and all other manner of non-sexually excited for this movie, but I’m not so sure I want to write J.J. Abrams a blank check this time ’round.
For one, I no longer trust the guy to actually write an entire story before yelling “action!” Granted, Abrams sense of suspense is the best in the biz, but he seems to have suspense largely switched for story. Once the suspense is gone, the story’s gone too. Lost’s clue-y what’s-in-the-hatch nature was great fun up until we got the distinct impression that ol’ J.J. was pulling everything out of his ass.
Really, there’s a fundamental flaw with suspense: it keeps things moving along nicely at the expense of impossible expectations for the ending. The longer the suspense builds, the exponentially less the chance that a five minute explanation is going to cut it. Abrams technique is such that he really doesn’t have much choice but build more suspense on top of suspense, like some kind of mathematically crazy narrative pyramid scheme.
In other words, a surprise is only satisfying if you don’t expect it. So far, everything we know about this movie is the exact opposite, including the marketing campaign. When we don’t even know the movie’s name, it’s going to be easy to be disappointed when it turns out to be “just” a monster movie, “just” a light-hearted romantic comedy, “just” an anything.
Sunshine is a gorgeous, gorgeous movie.
It’s part pensive study of human nature and part stupid slasher flick, all in the warm embrace of a mission to re-ignite the sun. There are brilliant shots, glorious moments when Sunshine soars, teeth clenched, fists out against the wind. By the rolling credits there’s a spotty sense of genius.
The movie’s high points are cinematic meth and well worth admission. But, like La Burrita’s triple enchilada plate, Sunshine tastes good going down but really doesn’t sit that well.
The contrived plot points that make space-thriller flicks a frustrating affair are all in force: the solar shield the most pivotal crew are sent to fix, the stunningly crucial yet easily destroyed ship systems, the pantry’s large selection of shiny vibrating knives. And why, why would anyone name humanity’s last hope the “Icarus“—and its successor the “Icarus II“? That’s just dumb.
Michael Moore’s SiCKO
I just watched SiCKO, Michael Moore’s doc blasting the U.S. healthcare system. His message: the U.S. healthcare system puts profits in direct opposition to patients, and the profits win every time.
Now, Michael Moore documentaries all have the same basic problem: his argument is just as simplistically one-sided as the arguments of the politicians and corporate bosses he lampoons, he’s just on the other side. So his technique is inherently hypocritical: if it’s bad when Capitol Hill and FOX News does it, why’s it good when he does it? The issue is obviously more complex than “U.S. sux, Canada/Britain/France/Cuba rawks!” but Moore too busy with anecdotes and outrage to get to it.
That said, the guy’s absolutely right.
Why is U.S. healthcare so pathetic? Why are HMOs in the business of denying claims, rather than helping patients? We’re blind to the obvious because it’s just par for American life, because we don’t know any better so we think we’re the best. America spends 16% of its GDP on healthcare, proportionally and per-capita more than any other nation in the world. And yet, it’s the U.S. that ranks 37th, just ahead of Slovenia. And yet, it’s the Canadians, the British, the French, the Cubans who can walk into any public hospital and get checked-up, medicated, operated on, saved, who don’t even have the concept of being “denied” treatment, because to do so would be incurably inhumane.
Why do we have “free” K-12 education, complementary police and firefighters, but not free healthcare? If we think it’s important for everyone to be educated, secure, and safe, why don’t we think it’s important for everyone to be healthy? We’re afraid that universal healthcare will be badly mishandled, will remove “choice,” will be catastrophically numb and bureaucratic, but could anything be more mishandled, constrained, and willfully bureaucratic than our odious axis of HMOs?
SiCKO gets in our face, gets us talking about the nightmare of American healthcare, and that’s why for all its faults it’s still worth your time. Go see it: it’ll be good for you.