Things are happening in America:
- First up, a miracle: Alberto Fernandez, on Director of Public Relations at the State Department’s Bureau of Near Eastern Affairs, told al-Jezeera “I think there is great room for strong criticism, because without doubt, there was arrogance and stupidity by the United States in Iraq.” HOLY FUCKING SHIT, FINALLY. This man would be my semi-hero if it wasn’t for that fact that he, of course, backtracked, saying the next day that “upon reading the transcript of my appearance on al-Jazeera, I realized that I seriously misspoke.” No, no you didn’t, in fact you said exactly the right thing. Not only was it the right thing to admit, it’s exactly the sort of humility the U.S. needs to show if it wants to regain some credibility in the Arabic world, which largely sees America as, yes, arrogant and stupid. In any case, the right cat is out of the right bag.
- Next, Barack Obama might run for President in 2008! Folks, being in Singapore has made me realize that I love America—I just hate that it’s run by fucking idiots. Obama represents the greatest ray of hope this country will have seen in a long while—if you love what America was founded to stand for, you’ll vote for Obama. Why? I’ll cut to the chase: one, he’s honest (for a politician). He’s human. He admits that not everything he’s done is a shining example for every little boy and girl in the country, and that’s okay—it’s part of what makes us people and not ideals. Did he smoke weed? “When I was a kid, I inhaled,” Mr. Obama said here to an audience of magazine editors. “That was the point.” Two, he changes his mind. When he was first elected Senator of Illinois, he stated he wouldn’t run for President in 2008. “That was how I was thinking at that time.” But, “given the responses I’ve been getting… I have thought about the possibility.” Bush famously called this “flip-flopping” while running against Kerry in ‘04, which would have blown me out of the water if it came from anyone but ol’ Dumbshit. Bush, mate, when new facts surface, when situations change, you need to rethink your position and, indeed, sometimes change it. Now, I know this is hard for you, probably because you didn’t think in the first place, but that’s precisely Obama is so very, very much better than you!
We broke it, we bought it
America, we can’t “cut and run” from Iraq.
This is precisely the worst time to leave Iraq. To quote James Baker (of the Iraq Study Group), abandoning Iraq would mean “the biggest civil war you’ve ever seen.” Shia, Sunni, and Kurdish groups are all jockeying to partition Iraq into autonomous states. Without Hussein’s forced pseudo-peace, de facto war amongst Shia militias, Sunni militias, and the new state “police” has already killed hundreds of thousands of Iraqis. Militia-lead ethnic cleansing long ago began, and would only accelerate with a set-in-stone pullout.
The only thing really holding the country together is America. Ironically, Iraq’s best hope for peace is the country that invaded it. To echo The Economist, America can’t do jack shit about Iraq if America isn’t in Iraq. We need to solidify our commitment and take the responsibility we asked for. Main-line Democrats and Republicans need to jointly declare that leaving Iraq in good condition is America’s best interest. A chaotic Iraq would destroy what little stability the Middle East still has, thus screwing over both Americans and Middle Easterners. Meanwhile, Bush needs to stop saying things like “the terrorists are trying to influence public opinion here in the United States” and “break our will.” Bush, seriously, shut the fuck up. People want to leave in Iraq not because of terrorist propaganda, but because you did such a jolly shitty job both invading and rebuilding it.
Next, America needs to somehow cultivate moderation in Iraq. Yeah, easier said than done, but still true. You can’t have a democracy when one third of the citizens want to murder the other two-thirds, and vice versa, and vice versa. You can’t have a country when the three constituent groups want their own countries (and wouldn’t mind a lil’ genocide along the way).
The best thing America can do now is ensure security, while keeping its hands off the actual government. No puppet governors, no obvious political intervention. Legitimacy is the currency of any relevant government, and the Iraqi government needs it badly. Meanwhile, moderate officials must be able to get to work without being blown up or shot. If moderation is seen as siding with “the Great Satan,” then budding moderates are literally as good as dead.