How the Republicans Could Rule America Forever

I don’t think it would be too hard:

  • Split the country.
  • Cut funding to education. Republicans depend on an emotional, irrational, uninformed vote.
  • Be perpetually at war. Wars appease the Republican base, and are an excellent source of Veterans, the lifeblood of the Republican Party. An American can do nothing greater in life than wear a uniform and put bullets in foreigners for the ultimate material gain of the Republican ruling class.
  • Block immigration. Immigrants are a valuable Democratic constituency, and conversely dilute core Republican constituencies. The presence of immigrants spawns pesky compassion for the other
  • Promote cheap oil and thus suburban development. Cities are breeding grounds for liberals because it’s in cities that the benefit of compassion (social programs, mass transit, tolerance) becomes clear.
  • Lie. Lie and lie and lie until people doubt the truth. Make your messages simple and emotional, and repeat them until people don’t remember how they came to believe them.
  • If this sounds a bit Orwellian, that’s because it is. The rousing cheers Sarah Palin got tonight at the RNC made me want to vomit. It’s hard to believe that this was once Abraham Lincoln’s party.

    4 Responses to “How the Republicans Could Rule America Forever”


    1. 1 Kunal

      You have to admire their effectiveness. It took a good 20 years of work, but they have it down to an artform. It’s funny because Obama mentioned this in his speech — Republicans are good at running elections, but fail at actually running the country. I honestly don’t know at this point what it’s going to take to start shifting things in the right direction.

    2. 2 Gary

      Man I wish it was only the last 20 years—this project’s been ongoing since Goldwater in the 60s. Free Speech, Anti-War, and Civil Rights protests tore a giant hole in American for Republicans to march right through.

    3. 3 Ben

      The parallels between Palin and Agnew in terms of “positive polarization” and the demonizing of the press are of course not surprising. And electorally the Palin pick is awesome. The fundamentals are against them this cycle and they may not win, but they are playing the only game they know.

      I really thought this election wasn’t going to be about the culture wars of the past and while they may not define it in the end, they will have played a larger role than many would have thought just a week ago.

    4. 4 Mina

      I think it’s quite easy to point fingers at the Republicans for tearing the country apart and bringing it to the state that it is in currently. But also, I think we have to point the fingers at ourselves (the general public: Democratic and Republican), too. For the most part, the general public is what elects our leaders (even taking into account the odd (un)fairness of Electoral College). Ultimately, it’s the general public that interprets smears as facts and it’s the general public that forgets short-term benefits have long-term consequences.

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