Monthly Archive for November, 2007

Tofurky Thanksgiving

Published
by
Gary
on November 24, 2007
in Declaration
. 6 Comments

Tofurky and Vegetarian

A naked Tofurky and my cousin, the vegetarian culprit. In its wild state the Tofurky looks rather like an uncooked haggis.

Tofurky Mushroom and Giblet Gravy

“Tofurky Mushroom and ‘Giblet’ Gravy.” It’s like they preemptively made fun of themselves.

Innocent Tofurky

Here’s an oven-roasted Tofurky, moments before its final fate. In its prepared state it’s a visual paradox, like something Marcel Duchamp cooked up. Here you have something that’s carefully designed to look as little like meat as possible, something that barely even looks organic. However, give it the symbolic trappings of a typical roast—round glass casserole dish, chopped potatoes and carrots, rising steam, glowing heat—and it takes on a weird sense of meat-ness.

Slicing the Tofurky

Of course, the real paradox is that a Tofurky tastes shockingly like an actual turkey [made of firm tan Jell-O]. It’s a bizarre thing, a traditional turkey updated for the state of society in 2007, reflecting conflicting desires to preserve the symbols of Thanksgiving without having an actual butchered bird, with all the cultural and moral baggage that bird might bring.

HPIM0514

Naturally we also ate meat made from animals.

The Game 07: Farvard Hucks Yale

Published
by
Gary
on November 18, 2007
in Entertainment and News
. 0 Comments

The Game 07: Half-time

Harvard completely steamrolled Yale, 37-6. Seriously, five 2nd-graders with Wiis could have played a better game than Yale’s “football” team, which apparently consists of one awesome running back and half of Microsoft’s 2008 recruits. There was absolutely no energy, no cheer team, a half-time show involving pterodactyls representing Harvard, the complete opposite of The Big Game of my undergrad days. It was like watching a particularly bad high school game—we’ve come a long way from the days when The Game made the front page of the New York Times.

The Game 07: Yale Getting Steamrolled

I went at half-time, stayed long enough to witness the carnage for myself, then went back to the tailgate party.

The Game 07: Carlos' Tailgate Party

Here Jang and I knock back a coke and a Corona at Carlos’ tailgate party, just outside the Bowl. The gray-haired gentleman in the background is Ernesto Zedillo Ponce de León, former President of Mexico. (Sorry, couldn’t resist!)

Chapel Street through Edgewood Park

At least the walk to the Bowl was nice.

Anyway, afterward I had dinner, took a nap, then went with nine other guys to the Hooters in Milford, where we watched something called UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship), among other things. Hooters’ is pretty alright: it’s completely unpretentious, the service is incredible (no seriously), and the chicken wings totally match the hype. The one thing I couldn’t figure out is whether or not we were supposed to be ogling said hooters: on the one hand I don’t want to be a total cock, on the other hand that’s the restaurant’s point.

The Game 07: Huck Farvard

Published
by
Gary
on November 17, 2007
in Entertainment
. 3 Comments

Tomorrow’s The Game, Yale v. Harvard at the Yale Bowl. In the spirit of not jinxing the whole damn thing, I’ll just say that both Yale (9-0, 6-0 Ivy) and Harvard (7-2, 6-0 Ivy) are undefeated in the Ivy League—the first time since 1968—so the stage is set.

YDN The Game

Anyway, the other year-end game at my other school? The Big Game, Cal v. Stanford. Yale’s color is Yale Blue, Berkeley’s are Yale Blue and California Gold (many founders of the latter graduated from the former). Harvard’s color is Crimson, Stanford’s is something called “Cardinal,” demonstrating an unhealthy predilection for the color of Joseph Stalin and brutal Asian dictatorships. Both Yale and Berkeley are naturally big on light: Yale’s motto is “Lux et Veritas” (Latin for “Light & Truth”), Berkeley’s is “Fiat Lux” (Latin for “Let There Be Light”). Meanwhile, Harvard’s motto is “Veritas” (Latin for “Douchebag”) and Stanford’s is “Die Luft der Freiheit weht” (German for “We feast on puppies and kittens”). Both Yale and Berkeley are intrinsically good and largely Buddhist; Harvard and Stanford have their own joint circle of Hell and graduate large numbers of investment bankers and Republicans.

Most importantly, the year Cal finally won big at the Big Game: 2002, the same year some Chinese kid from Anaheim showed up. Coincidence?

Where to Drink

The U.S. and Pakistan

Published
by
Gary
on November 10, 2007
in Criticism and News
. 2 Comments

As of late, Pakistan’s been in a bad way. U.S. and C.I.A. plans to moderate Musharraf’s madness and build his legitimacy through cooperation with opposition leader Benazir Bhutto have completely collapsed: post-martial law, post-house arrest, Musharraf has emerged as the oppressor, Bhutto as the freedom fighter, Musharraf marshaling thousands of police against protest and Bhutto in eminent danger of assassination. U.S. fumbling and incompetence has made a complete clusterfuck out of a crisis.

Pakistan police attack demonstrators

The U.S. needs to immediately stop supporting General Musharraf. After all, what was the rational for aiding Musharraf’s government?

  1. he’s America’s ally in anti-terrorism.
  2. he’s promised a “path to democracy” for Pakistan with fair elections, free press, the works

Now he’s neither. As of November 3, 2007, he’s certainly no path to democracy I’ve ever seen: declaring martial law and suspending the supreme court to protect his presidency, removing dissenting judges, censoring the media, arresting over 3,500 lawyers, civil rights leaders, and liberal politicians, banning public protest, and suspending the Constitution are all decidedly un-democratic moves. Musharraf’s been smart enough to frame his dictatorship as an anti-terrorist move:

In the last few months, our situation has changed dramatically. Terrorism and Extremism are rampant. Suicide bombings are widespread. In Karachi, Rawalpindi, Sargodha, fanatacism is now common. Fundamentalist extemists are everywhere. They are not afraid of law-enforcement agencies.
(Musharraf’s address to the nation)

Yet, U.S. support continues because Musharraf still represents security in Pakistan and thus that corner of the Muslim World… except he doesn’t. First of all, the U.S. is undermining its own credibility (as usual) by publicly supporting an obvious dictator just because of empty sweet talking. This subsequently creates yet more completely legitimate reasons to hate the U.S. Second, the people of Pakistan, more than ever, now have [even more] legitimate reason to rebel against their government—Musharraf argued that he imposed martial law to stabilize Pakistan, but ironically he’s done just the opposite. So, in effect Musharraf is fanning the complex flames of terrorism in his own interest—and America’s paying him to do it. Meanwhile, the possibility for safe, free elections and the establishment of a moderate government with a true mandate to fight terrorism is quickly fading.

The bigger picture is that America needs to stop supporting dictators under the mistaken impression that it can somehow control them. That’s complete fiction, as has been proved time and time again in Iraq (Saddam Hussein), Chile (General Pinochet), Argentina (General Videla), Indonesia (Suharto), Iran (The Shah), Zaire (Mobutu), Cuba (Batista), Haiti (Papa & Baby Doc), and so on. America’s arrogance consistently undermines both its own best interest and the self-determination of people in non-Western countries.

Thin Slicing New Music: Aug-Nov 07

Published
by
Gary
on November 9, 2007
in Criticism and Entertainment
. 0 Comments

I was found out last night in studio when I didn’t recognize Nine Inch Nail’s “Closer“—my elderly studiomates latched on but I was just “huh?”

  • Animal Collective (Strawberry Jam 2007): Yes? Incredibly inventive and absolutely alive, I really should like these guys more. May be in a few more listens. “#1.”
  • The Avalanches (El Producto EP 1997): Nooo. Let’s get this straight: I love The Avalanches like FOX News loves Jesus, but El Producto is nothing like the Since I Left You train I boarded in ‘06. The sampling is genius but the rapping really ain’t.
  • Beirut (The Flying Club Cup 2007): Yes! Somehow even better than 2006’s Gulag Orkestar. This album is pure atmosphere: spin it on a sunset afternoon and you’re in last century’s grainy, sepia-toned French countryside. “Nantes” and “In The Mausoleum.”
  • Carla Bruni (Quelqu’un m’a dit 2002): Yeah. Sultry French folk in the chansons tradition.
  • Corinne Bailey Rae (Corinne Bailey Rae 2006): Yep. Reminds me of a completely real California with palm trees, bikes, and a fish eye lens—nice on 44-degree New Haven days. “Put Your Records On.”
  • Feist (The Reminder 2007): Yes. Honest, understated folk, like a smoother less-surly Cat Power. “One Two Three Four” (of course).
  • Field (From Here We Go Sublime 2007): Eh. Upbeat but restrained electronica, pretty good but not deep enough to hold up to replays—that is, by the third or fourth time there’s nothing new to listen to. “Silent” and “Sun & Ice” would be best when high on hashish.
  • Gogol Bordello (Gypsy Punks Underdog World Strike 2005): Sort of. Insane immigrant punk rock, sometimes I’m in the irreverent mood. “Sally” and “Start Wearing Purple.” (Fun fact: plays in the office of Stanley Saitowitz, ‘cept back then I didn’t know who they were.)
  • KanYe West (Graduation 2007): NO. Complete and utter shit, unbelievably disappointing after Late Registration. “Stronger” makes me want to beat KanYe with a rusty-nailed bat.
  • Grizzly Bear (Yellow House 2006): Yes. Perfect middle-of-the-night music. Long lazy echoing indie rock, atmosphere so thick you can scoop it with a spoon. “Knife” and “Lullabye.”
  • Jens Lekman (Night Falls Over Kortedala 2007): Yes. Epic wryly melancholy sampled indie pop from the country that does pop best—Sweden. “And I Remember Every Kiss” and “Sipping On The Sweet Nectar.”
  • Kevin Drew, Broken Social Scene Presents (Spirit If… 2007): Yes. Glorious textured soundscapes, incredible instrumentation, and longing voices intact. Better then [the self-titled album] Broken Social Scene. “Bodhi Sappy Weekend” and “F—Ked Up Kid.”
  • LCD Soundsystem (LCD Soundsystem 2005): Eh? I might warm up to these guys after another half-dozen plays.
  • M.I.A. (Kala 2007): No. Energetic, innovative, big, but I just don’t get it.
  • Madeleine Peyroux (Half The Perfect World 2005): Yeah. Sort of jazzy folk, best for the amazing “Blue Alert.”
  • Panda Bear (Person Pitch 2007): Eh. Somewhere between the aforementioned atmospheric Grizzly Bear, The Microphones, and a busted amp, all recorded in a giant echoing New York loft. Fun at times but otherwise just too damn detached. “Bros.”
  • The Smiths (Strangeways, Here We Come 1987): Eh? Not really sure what to think of these guys, ‘cept that something so clearly 80s is a bit before my time. “Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me.”